UP SYNDROME

EX-ACTLY!!!

An acquaintance who had not seen Moishey for a long time, exclaimed when they finally did meet, Oh Moishey, I see you got glasses! Is it because you're near-sighted or far-sighted?! Moishey answered, Because I'm ex-sighted (excited)!!!

HASHEM YERACHEIM

I walked in to the kitchen in the middle of a war of words between Moishey and my four year old daughter. Suddenly, Moishey reached for a siddur on the table, flipped through some pages, and he started swaying as he pleaded, Hashem, please help!!! Yitty is bothering me!

HUMAN BOOMBOX

Moishey had just dozed off for the night, when his younger sister started to talk very excitedly right outside his room. He woke up and yelled out, Yitty, sha-sha-sha!! This happened another three times, and when he couldn't take it any longer, Moishey bellowed, Yitty, LOWER THE VOLUME!!!!

DOCTOR KNOW-IT-ALL

Moishey is very noise sensitive and is always very concerned that everybody who is exposed to noise will get a headache. One Friday morning I was placing my challah ingredients into my kneading machine bowl and Moishey was watching me. His little sister was still asleep in her bedroom all the way across the apartment. Moishey looked at me suspiciously and then asked, Are you going to put that machine on? When I answered in the affirmative, he looked at me in horror and then said, But, Yitty is going to get a....a....a hearing aid!!!

I SAY, YOU SAY...

My eight year old sister Malky who has Down syndrome, was waiting for her cousin to arrive. My cousin, who also has Down syndrome walked in and excitedly cried out, Hello Malky!. My sister, in a mocking tone said, Hey, dee redst funny (you talk funny)!

HAIR YE! HAIR YE!

Teacher was reviewing parshas Chaya Sorah with her class. She asked the students, What did Yitzchok need? (a bride/wife). Ten-year old Chaim came out of his daydream just in time to answer, What did Yitzchok need? He needed a haircut!!!

ENGLISH, PLEASE...

Nine year old Zalmen was invited with his family to an aunt and uncle for Melava Malka. Before the visit Zalmen asked Mother what was going to be served. His mother said, Most probably pizza, and lots of other goodies! to which Zalmen exclaimed, Mama Mia!!