As parents of children with disabilities, many times we are asked questions, or comments are made to us that, although mostly not ill-intended, have the potential to cause us great hurt.
At a recent "Imas United/Tafkid" meeting (parent to parent support group) the mothers wrote down some of the questions and comments they've encountered, as well as some possible ways they may be answered.
Here is a sampling of them and how they may be answered.
Answer: This child is a "matonoh" (gift) from
Hakodosh Baruch Hu. If a king gives you a present you accept
it; if the King of all Kings gives you a present you accept it
Answer: From the experience of having a brother/sister with
special needs, my other children's middos and overall character
will be refined and enhanced. Whoever marries them will be very
Answer: He was born this way. Just like a blind person can't
see and a deaf person can't hear, he also has special challenges
because he can't learn as quickly as we can.
Answer: I just turned around and told them point blank that
I broke her feet-they looked at me with open mouths and said nothing.
In retrospect, I would also have asked them to direct their questions
to me directly and not to talk behind my back.
Answer: I re;olied, "No, he is an American!"
Answer: He is a 24/7 child-He needs love 24 hours per day,
7 days a week and that's what we give him!
Answer: Because velcro doesn't work!
Answer: "Can I help you? What are you looking at?"
Answer: We each receive a different TAFKID in life. We don't always realize the strength we have inside to handle our nisyonos. Hashem knows we have the strength even when we don't know.